Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
