So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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