If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
