I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize