I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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