David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
