JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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