whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
