Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
