He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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