i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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