Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
