I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
