you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
