How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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