Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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