I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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