Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
