I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
