Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
