32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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