I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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