You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
