she was so not down for the gang bang
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
