I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
