I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
