Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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