Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
