those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
