you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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