It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize