I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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