look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
