I love black thongs
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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