He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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