Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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