Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
