What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
