Already got asked if we're dating
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
