Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
