i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
