He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize