About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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