i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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