Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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