Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
