She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
