At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I want her autograph on my taint
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
