he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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