Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
