in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize