I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
