There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
