I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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