Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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