You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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