im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize