If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
