Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
