He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
