I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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