none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
