Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
