I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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