I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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