We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
