i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
